Abstract

Boys and girls turn to marry late because of the difficulties they face in finding a suitable partner. Especially in the university, more than 50% of girls graduate without being certain of whom to spend their life with.

Others find partners after graduation. The main objective of this study is to find out the challenges boys and girls face in finding a serious partner in the University and propose solutions to easily find a partner.

Specifically, the study sought to find out the problems boys and girls in the university face to find a serious partner and to propose some solutions to the problems boys and girls in the university face in finding a serious partner.

Using a sample of 20 students of the University of Buea, questionnaires were administered and data were analysed using thematic analysis. Results from findings showed that boys and girls face problems in finding life partners because of financial difficulties, character, and the fake life most students live.

Also, the findings recommended that boys and girls should stop leaving fake lives and accept the situation for which they are; that way they can find life partners.

CHAPTER ONE

GENERAL INTRODUCTION

Introduction

This research looks into the reasons, and proposes solutions to why in the university, despite the thousands of boys and girls, students still find it difficult to find a serious partner who is ready to get married with all the accompanying conditions which come with marriage and who has a stable job or a prospective stable job, especially for the men.

This chapter embodies the background to the study, statement of the research problem, research objectives and questions, justifications, and significances of the study, and the operational definition of terms.

Background to the study

In today’s generation, both boys and girls turn to marry late because of the difficulties they face in finding a suitable partner. Especially in the university, more than 50% of girls graduate without being certain of whom to spend their life with.

Others find partners after graduation. This challenge causes a lot of late marriages among university students which can also affect their ability to give birth especially women.

It is difficult for boys and girls searching for a partner to find one because some of these students have an idea of the perfect partner in their minds. They have characteristics that are unrealistic among people of today, characteristics you cannot all find in a single person. They fail to understand that no one is perfect and this ideology is making it difficult for them to find partners.

Also, the lifestyle of so many students is making it difficult for them to find suitable partners. Students have resulted in a recalcitrant way of living which scarce potential spouses away from them. The men indulge in cigarette smoking, gambling, and drug consumption while women are deeply into prostitution. All these behaviors are repelling to suitors and therefore make it very difficult for persons involved to find partners.

In a nutshell so many women today find it difficult to have a partner because of their inability to cook and do house chores. Some girls are naturally lazy and most importantly need to know how to cook. According to a popular quote which says “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” many women have failed in this aspect because of their inability to cook and this is making it difficult for them to find partners.

The issue of cohabiting has become very common in university environments today. The rate of cohabitation is severely on the rise as female students in the university stay in the same rooms with their so-called boyfriends.

Marriage is delayed when women decide to live with their partner before or without getting married. Couples choose to live together for a number of reasons, according to clinical psychologist and author (Meg Jay 2012), to tentatively test marriage compatibility or with the presumption that cohabitation is a step toward marriage.

There is much controversy as to whether or not cohabitation is harmful to marriage; however, numerous reports find that an increasing number of couples are choosing to live together and delay marriage.

Late marriages affect child birth. Age is a very important criterion for women, especially for conception. Delayed age greatly affects the fertility of a woman, reducing the possibility of conception.

According to the study of Advanced Fertility Center, Chicago, 1 in every 4 women is infertile by the age of 35. Based on the study, the rate of pregnancy declines gradually in the ’30s and is more substantial during the late ’30s and ’40s. Very few women stay fertile at the age of 45. Today, a huge number of couples are fighting infertility due to their age.

The number of childless couples is increasing every day. According to a survey, in mid-1990s, only 13 percent of all married couples aging between 35 and 45 had no kids. But today, the number has increased to almost 40 percent which is quite shocking.

According to the Feminist theories that focus on gender inequality recognize that women’s location in, and experience of, social situations are not only different but also unequal to men’s. Liberal feminists argue that women have the same capacity as men for moral reasoning and agency, but that patriarchy, particularly the sexist division of labour, has historically denied women the opportunity to express and practice this reasoning.

These dynamics serve to shove women into the private sphere of the household and to exclude them from full participation in public life. Feminism and challenges of finding a partner cannot be separated; they are interrelated with each other. feminism is that it is the belief that women should be equal to men and now aren’t, and that it is also any actions, especially organized, that promote women’s rights to move towards equality with men.

Most women today especially in the university are hiding behind the concept of feminism to disrespect men and this is making it difficult for them to find partners.

There are many theories that deal with boys and girls unable to find life partners. One of such theories is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow explained that human beings need to satisfy some needs and he classified these needs into Physiological needs (air, food, drink, shelter, clothing, warmth, sex, sleep) Safety needs (protection from elements, security, order, law, stability, freedom from fear), Love and belongingness needs (friendship, intimacy, trust, and acceptance, receiving and giving affection and love), Esteem needs (achievement, mastery, independence, status, and prestige), self-actualization needs (realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences).

This theory is relevant to this study in that, need to have sex is a physiological need in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and physiological needs are the most pressing needs which people can almost not do without satisfying them. Therefore, it is important to find out the difficulties boys and girls are facing to have a partner so as to help them to resolve this need.

Another relevant theory to this study is the marital goal theory. The goals people want to attain in their marriage are one of the core elements in the dynamic goal theory of marital satisfaction. The theory argues that whether marital goals, especially the prioritized ones, are achieved in the marriage is the most essential determinant of marital satisfaction.

This theory is important to this study because it will motivate students to overcome the challenges they face in finding suitable partners and by overcoming these challenges they can find partners and get married so as to achieve these marital goals.

Statement of the problem

Despite the thousands of boys and girls in the university, it seems as if people have more difficulties today finding a life partner in the University than before and this problem is serious especially for girls in their final year in the university who wish to find a serious partner.

Thus, this research looks into the challenges both boys and girls in the university face to find a good partner which can lead to marriage.

Research Objectives

General Research Objective

To find out the challenges boys and girls face in finding a serious partner in the University and propose solutions to easily find a partner

Specific Research Objectives

1. To find out the problems boys and girls in the university face to find a serious partner
2. To propose some solutions to the problems boys and girls in the university face in finding a serious partner.

Research Questions

General Research Question

What are the reasons why it is so hard for boys and girls to find a serious partner while in the university and what are the solutions to these problems?

Specific Research Questions

1. What are the reasons why boys and girls in the university cannot find a serious partner?
2. What are the solutions to why boys and girls in the university cannot find a serious partner?

Justifications for the Study

This study is justified because:

First, researches why boys and girls find it difficult to find a serious partner in the university are scarce especially in the University of Buea.

Secondly, the research is justified because it is relevant. Many girls really wish they can find a serious partner while they are in the university.